Molly's thoughts about Christmas 2007

For Christmas in 2007, Molly sent out a family newsletter to family and friends. Her thoughts on Christmas then are still very much applicable to 2009:

"Another year with many joyous milestones has passed. We count the many blessings we have been given this year by our Heavenly Father and thank Him. He has been so gracious to us. We also give many thanks for you, our ever-staying friends and family, who have blessed our lives with many wonderful memories. Your presence in our lives has brought happiness and peace to us."

She also makes this observation:

"There is nothing more rewarding for a parent than to know how happy your children are."

Molly comments about her teaching position in such a way that allows us to sense her excitement at having found a job-field that she enjoys very much:

"I think I have the perfect dream job. I teach 2nd grade at a new school in its second year that is only two miles away. I work with a wonderful group of people who I love and enjoy being with. I have an adorable class I could take home and keep as my own. It's an honor to share my day with each precious child. "

She ends the newsletter with the following, which I am sure she would repeat this year:

"We love this time of year when we get to hear from you on how you and your family are doing. Thank you for thinking of us.

Merry Christmas and a happy 2008 New Year!!!"

Molly's thoughts about death and the afterlife, part seven...

Molly kept a few items in the drafts-section of her e-mail account that she had come across from forwards to her or perhaps from elsewhere. The following poem touches on the theme of someone who has departed looking after loved ones. This link between the two worlds and the ability to help on occasion is a view that Molly held in her own life quite strongly:

A drunk man in an Oldsmobile

They said had run the light

That caused the six-car pileup

On 109 that night.



When broken bodies lay about

And blood was everywhere,

The sirens screamed out eulogies,

For death was in the air.


A mother, trapped inside her car,

Was heard above the noise;

Her plaintive plea near split the air:

"Oh, God, please spare my boys!"


She fought to loose her pinned hands;

She struggled to get free,

But mangled metal held her fast

In grim captivity.


Her frightened eyes then focused

On where the back seat once had been,

But all she saw was broken glass and

Two children's seats crushed in.


Her twins were nowhere to be seen;

She did not hear them cry

And then she prayed they'd been thrown free,

"Oh, God, don't let them die! "


Then firemen came and cut her loose,

But when they searched the back,

They found therein no little boys,

But the seat belts were intact.


They thought the woman had gone mad

And was traveling alone,

But when they turned to question her,

They discovered she was gone.


Policemen saw her running wild

And screaming above the noise

In beseeching supplication,

"Please help me find my boys!"


"They're four years old and wear blue shirts;

Their jeans are blue to match."

One cop spoke up, ""They're in my car,

And they don't have a scratch."


"They said their daddy put them there

And gave them each a cone,

Then told them both to wait for Mom

To come and take them home.


I've searched the area high and low,

But I can't find their dad.

He must have fled the scene,

I guess, and that is very bad."


The mother hugged the twins and said,

While wiping at a tear,

"He could not flee the scene, you see,

For he's been dead a year."


The cop just looked confused and asked,

"Now, how can that be true?"

The boys said, ""Mommy, Daddy came

And left a kiss for you."



He told us not to worry

And that you would be all right,

And then he put us in this car with

The pretty, flashing light.

We wanted him to stay with us,

Because we miss him so,

But Mommy, he just hugged us tight

And said he had to go.

He said someday we'd understand

And told us not to fuss, "

And he said to tell you, Mommy,

He's watching over us."

The mother knew without a doubt

That what they spoke was true,

For she recalled their dad's last words,

"I will watch over you."


The firemen's notes could not explain

The twisted, mangled car,

And how the three of them escaped

Without a single scar.


But on the cop's report was scribed,

In print so very fine,

"An angel walked the beat tonight

on Highway 109."

Happy Birthday, Kristin!!! :D

Happy Birthday, Mom!

"Handsome Grandpa George"

A week and a half ago we trekked up to Idaho to visit our Grandpa George. On Monday we received a phone call that he had passed away.

October 17, 2009
OBITUARY

Javin Loves Carly

Look at him all cuddled up with her.

Carly's First Dance

This week has been Homecoming at Carly's high school and tonight is the Homecoming dance.





Here is Carly and her best friend, Jill, all ready to go.




Their dates were an hour and a half late so they needed a little snack.


Here they are with some of their group.


Here is Carly and her date, Sheldon.

Happy Birthday, Brandon!

Happy Birthday, Brookie!

Happy Birthday, Lauren!

Javin Is Here!!!

Javin Edward Robbins was born September 1, 2009 at 2:50 am, weighs 7 lbs. 10 oz. and is 20 inches long.

Here's the little guy, fresh out of the oven at 3:00 in the morning!


It has been decided that he looks like Jaron with Lauren's nose and eyebrows. Here he is next to a picture of Jaron at about 3 or 4 weeks.


Carly and her new nephew!


Here is a video of Lauren telling Carly about his eyes.

Don't you love his little squeaks? : )

The new, happy Robbins Family!

Congratulations Brookie and Thad!

They are getting married in April!!


This picture is kind of at a weird angle, but look at her cute ring!

Endure It Well

The past week, some things have been on my mind that I tried and tried to not think about. Particularly the whole awful reason for this blog which occurred one year ago. I'm tired of crying, tired of feeling robbed, tired of feeling sorry for myself, tired of feeling like the whole world is this horrible place that I'm stuck sharing with horrible people who do horrible things. Yeah, it feels that bad sometimes.

We had a lesson in sunday school last Sunday at church about Joseph Smith and the persecution of the Saints. In D&C 121, Joseph sees the people being tormented and pleads with the Lord to do something to make their suffering end. Heavenly Father tells him (verse 7), "My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment. (verse 8) And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all they foes."

When things are hard, it is easy to forget that this life isn't our last stop. Compared to our eternal life, this will seem like a few seconds. This event could have sent my brothers and sisters and I in any number of directions. We could let anger take us over, we could let sorrow take us over, so much that we fall into a spiral of depression that warps our thoughts and makes us selfish and slaves to our overpowering emotions. I think this is what Heavenly Father means to avoid when he says, "Endure it well." There is no reason to walk around the rest of your life letting something like this take you over, cursing your existence because you feel bad or cursing Heavenly Father's existence for picking on you. Basically, I thinks it's a nice way of saying, "Drop the 'poor me' attitude and spend your efforts on something useful."

In D&C 122: 6-7, Heavenly Father describes to Joseph Smith all the horrible things that could happen to him. He then explains to him, "know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good." The trials we have here are meant to help us learn and grow. Bad things don't just happen to people for no reason. I believe these things happen to righteous people because we can handle it, because we understand that some people fall into temptation from Satan and we are left suffering because of it. We know that we were sent to this earth to learn and to do what we can to better ourselves. What greater opportunity to exercise what we've been taught and to understand enough to leave behind the vengeful, angry thoughts and feelings that come from being betrayed and hurt by someone you know?

In D&C 122:9, Joseph Smith is told, "Therefore, hold on thy way, and the priesthood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever." Thy days are known...and shall not be numbered less, huh? Interesting. I am comforted knowing that this is part of a plan, awful as it may be. My mother was sent here for a short time but apparently had accomplished what she was supposed to. I was sent here at this time and to this family, Heavenly Father knowing that this is what I would have to deal with and trusting me enough to let me take it on. No man can do anything to take away my knowledge of this. No man can take away the lessons I have learned. No man can take away the people I love because I know that whatever happens on this earth, it is not the end.

Whatever comes, we cannot buckle under the weight of it. We cannot fall victim to the emotions that overwhelm it. We cannot lose sight of what we are really here for. We are not here to suffer, we are here to prosper. Whatever comes, we must endure it well.

America's Next Top Model?

Carly had her drill team pictures taken the other day and since she didn't want to pay for a makeover, my dad brought her down to my office so I could fix her hair all fancy. After work, we decided to go out to the field behind my mom's house to take some pictures while she was extra cute!

Happy 4th!

Happy Independence Day! We spent the morning at the Magna parade to see Carly march with the Spinnakers.


Here's a little video...


Carly and Jill


Here is Jaron and Lauren (and Javin pretty soon!), Daniela and Scott, Me, Brookie, Carly and Eunice, and Dad.

At night we headed to Magna Park for some spectacular fireworks!

She Must Have Heard Me Crying

For the past few weeks I had been feeling really crappy because I kept remembering every horrible thing I ever did or said to my mother when I was growing up. I would just bawl because I was totally feeling like the crappiest daughter in the world.

My husband and I moved into our very first home last weekend and this morning I've been pulling stuff out of boxes and putting it away. I found a birthday card my mom gave me in 2007:

Kristin,
My world and life changed the day you came into my life. Love took on a new meaning, and it was then I learned what real love was. You have always been a joy to have, always a perfect example, so sweet, so kind, and so loving. Thank you for allowing me the honor of being your mother. I love you. Mom

I love you, Mom!

Side note: I also found a recipe for my Grandpa's tortilla soup that she wrote down for me, which is my favorite soup and I thought it was lost forever because I never got her to show me how to make it.

Thanks, Mom!

Go Carly!

Wednesday night was Carly's 9th grade Awards Night. She got an award for excellence in Social Studies and also one for having outstanding citizenship during the school year.

Here is Carly and her friend, Jill, showing off their awards.
Dad, Carly and Kristin
Jill's mom said somebody gave them too much sugar. LOL : )

Happy Mother's Day, indeed.

I think I am back to my "don't-like-talking-about-my-feelings" self again. My mom always told me she thought it was weird that I never said how I felt or what I thought about stuff. I wanted to have something up here for Mother's Day, but it's one of those things that just ended up being too weighty for me to drag myself through. I miss my mom and the more I think about the future, the angrier I get. Jaron is having a baby, Carly is entering high school, Scott and Brooke are going to get married eventually and we have to do it all without our mom. How are you supposed to get along without someone who has been in your life, taken care of you, helped you, loved you literally every day since even before you were born?

There were definitely days where my mom and I didn't get along. When I'd come home ten minutes after curfew, we'd argue and say things to eachother that you probably shouldn't ever say to anybody. There were some days where we would laugh at the dumb things we did. We tried walking into Shopko one day and stood in front of an "automatic" door for at least 10 seconds waiting for it to open. We stood there like idiots until one of us read the big "Do Not Enter" sign that was in front of our faces. It was an "exit only" door. Ha ha!

When I'd get mad at her for not letting me go do something she'd tell me, "I don't care. I'm not your friend. I'm your mother." Brooke and I were talking about how kids now are out of control and they would be alot more respectable if they had parents instead of more friends. It drove me crazy then, but I totally see that it makes sense now.

I thought it was so annoying when I was little that we never, and I mean never, got to go to McDonald's when I was a kid. I probably remember twice in my entire childhood that she took us. She also wouldn't let us spend too much time in front of the TV. We could watch for like an hour, then she would make us go outside and play.

There were tons of things she would do that would drive me crazy, but every time I rolled my eyes, I would get this thought in my head telling me, "You're going to miss that when she's gone."

My mom used to carry this locket around in her purse with her mother's picture in it.
The whole week before Mother's Day I was feeling really crappy. On Saturday, I decided I was going to drive to the cemetery and have a "poor me" session and Scott called while I was on my way and wanted me to go to the temple with him. I kind of felt like, "Meh, I don't really feel like it but it'll probably do me some good." So we went and decided to only stay for half an hour because we were already hungry and it was getting late. I was fine until I noticed that one of the ladies helping had on the exact same temple dress my mom had....the exact same one she was buried in. The poor lady probably thought I hated her outfit because I just kept staring her up and down. Then I started bawling and she put her arm around me and said, "The blessings are so great, aren't they?" and I told her about my mom and that her dress was making me cry and she held my hand and told me, "I'm really glad you came today."

On Sunday I felt alot better. Brandon and I met my brothers and sisters and dad at the cemetery and I had made new "letters" to put up. The last ones were getting pretty weathered and the grounds keepers threw them away. We wanted to poke new holes in the ground to put the sticks in but it was too hard and we couldn't get them straight. This is how my mom's name ended up:


Scott tried shoving the middle "L" into the ground and it broke. When we put the last ones in, the groundskeepers had just replaced the dirt so it was soft and we were able to slide the sticks in the ground real easily. Not so much this time. LOL I'll have to think of something new to get them to stand up.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom! Miss you....

Molly's thoughts about death and the afterlife, part six...

On February 6, 2001, Molly wrote a reaction paper about a speaker who discussed Tibetan Buddhism.

Molly commented on the idea of reincarnation as follows:

"The idea of having many lifetimes somehow sounds relieving to be able to go back and live your life over and over again until you got it right. It would be refreshing to know that you get more than one chance to make amends. I don't totally believe in reincarnation as Terry describes it, but believe in an afterlife and the opportunity to live again, only not in another form or different body, the same body, but better, all fixed up."

She continues with this interesting observation:

"It was interesting hearing about our spiritual DNA that makes up our individual temperaments. Any parent with more than one child knows how unique and different each child is and how they react to things. So it makes sense to refer to this unique and individualized 'pattern of behavior' that we all possess as spiritual DNA."

I agree wholeheartedly with this observation.

It is also very fascinating to me to see how Molly's ideas about death are always intertwined with her thoughts about life and her experiences of others.

Happy Birthday, Scott!

Big 2-3! He's like, "What's up, ladies?!"

Happy Birthday, Carly!

She's 15 now and keeps trying to get everyone to let her drive their cars! We went shopping on her birthday and her friends made her wear this sign and tiara around school all day. Then they threw her a surprise party on friday. What fun friends! :)

Thank you Gearld Wright Elementary and West Valley Elementary

Some of the teachers my mom taught with from West Valley Elementary and Gearld Wright Elementary (Yes, that's how it's spelled!) got together and made us a quilt. Several people made squares that represented what our mom meant to them.



















Thank you!! This means so much to us!