Molly's thoughts about death and the afterlife, part five...

On February 27, 2001, Molly wrote a reaction paper for a speaker who had talked about hospice care for the terminally ill. In this paper, Molly tells us how she would have preferred her own death to be. She states:

"What a comfort to know that something like Hospice is available when one most needs to feel at ease. We all would like to be able to have a choice in the way we die. Hospice tries to make that as much a reality as possible. If I had a choice, I would like to be at home surrounded by family with the least amount of pain as possible and still be coherent enough to enjoy my surroundings at home with my family. It's nice to know there is an organization available that will try to make this wish a strong possibility."

The circumstances of Molly's death prevented her from having the choice she speaks about above. Even so, it seems that a greater regret for Molly would be an element of what she outlines in the following:

"I think it would be easier to die knowing you lived your life with the five things she [the speaker] described: not so much who loved you but who and how you loved, forgiving others and helping them to forgive you, showing others how much you appreciated them by thanking them and reminding them what they gave to you has meaning in your life, and saying good-bye. A lot of distress comes over the fact of not getting to say good-bye one last time. This does indeed help one to not just die better, but to live better as well. Living well helps one to die well. I think it brings more peace to one's heart and soul and less regrets."

I feel very strongly that Molly would have wanted to say good-bye one last time to those who she was close to. Some, of course, are people she knew for years. Some had been instrumental in her life at different points. Others may be people she knew only a short time. I think her heartfelt goodbye to all would have been framed within a sincere sense of how important each person is and her prayer that they find in this life those things that are most valuable and important.